People often become discouraged when praying for the salvation of someone they love. After months—or even years—without seeing a change, they begin to wonder, Are my prayers really making any difference?

I’m here to tell you: Yes, your prayers matter. Prayer is a powerful spiritual force in the lives of those who are lost—especially when we learn to pray according to the wisdom and Word of God.

The problem is that many Christians have never been taught how to pray skillfully. Like firing a shotgun into the air, we sometimes send prayers in every direction, hoping somehow that something will happen.

This is especially true when we pray for those who are spiritually lost.

It’s not uncommon to meet believers who have prayed for a husband, wife, son, daughter, brother, sister, or friend for 20, 30—even 40 years—without seeing the answer they desperately desire.

So how are we praying?

Often it sounds something like this:

“Oh Lord, Rick needs to be saved. Please save my brother Rick.”

Now remember, God already knows Rick needs to be born-again.

Then we may begin rehearsing Rick’s sins before God:

“Lord, he’s on drugs again. We had to bail him out of jail this month. If You don’t save Rick, I just don’t know what I’m going to do!”

That example may sound a little extreme, but many of us have prayed prayers very much like it.

We plead. We beg. We tell God how bad the situation has become. And the longer we pray without seeing results, the more discouraged we can become.

Eventually we begin wondering, Does God hear me? Do my prayers really matter?

I often hear Christians say:

“My loved one simply won’t listen to me. They aren’t open to the gospel. In fact, the more I try to talk to them about Jesus, the less they want to hear from me.”

That statement gives us an important clue.

We may be trying to fight a spiritual battle with natural weapons.

Reasoning, arguing, pressuring, and repeatedly trying to convince someone to accept Jesus may actually push that person farther away. We certainly should share the gospel when God gives us the opportunity. But seeing one surrender their life to Jesus is ultimately a spiritual work.

And Scripture reveals something very important about what may be happening behind the scenes.

The Real Battle Is Spiritual

The unsaved person is not your enemy.

Your loved one is not the enemy.

According to Scripture, however, there is a spiritual enemy actively working to keep people from seeing and understanding the truth of the gospel.

Second Corinthians 4:3–4 tells us:

“But even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled to those who are perishing, whose minds the god of this age has blinded, who do not believe, lest the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine on them.”

Think about what that means.

Satan works to blind minds so people cannot clearly see the truth.

That changes the way we pray.

Instead of becoming frustrated with our loved one—or endlessly trying to pressure them into believing—we can begin addressing the spiritual battle taking place around them—the spiritual influence that is blinding them.

No one can treat the truth of the gospel casually, if they truly sees Jesus for who He is and understand what He accomplished on the cross. And if they recognizes the eternal significance of His offer of salvation.

I truly believe, from a lifetime of experience, that when a person comes to fully understand who Jesus really is, why He came—and what His death and resurrection accomplished for them—it becomes almost impossible not to believe in Him and accept Him.

That is why our prayer should be addressing the true enemy. We can do that through prayer with something like this: In Jesus mighty name, I rebuke the spiritual blindness and every evil influence which is resisting the truth being understood and received in my loved one’s life. Lord, remove the blindness. Let them see the truth. 

We are not asking God to violate someone’s free will. We are asking Him to break through deception so that person can genuinely see, hear, understand, and freely respond to the gospel.

Deal With the Spiritual Opposition

Jesus gave us another important principle when He said:

“Or how can one enter a strong man’s house and plunder his goods, unless he first binds the strong man?”
—Matthew 12:29

There is a spiritual principle here worth understanding.

When praying for someone who is lost, we can exercise the authority Jesus has given believers and stand against the spiritual forces that are working to deceive, oppress, confuse, and resist the truth.

Your prayer might sound something like this:

“In the Name of Jesus Christ, I take authority over every work of darkness operating against Rick and blinding him to the truth of the gospel. I pull down every stronghold, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God in Rick’s mind, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ, according to your Word in 2 Corinthians 10:5.

I belong to Jesus Christ, and I stand in the authority of His Name. I resist every spirit of deception, confusion, bondage, and unbelief working against Rick.

Father, remove the spiritual blindness from his eyes. Break through every lie he has believed. Silence the voices that have kept him from hearing the truth.

Holy Spirit, reveal Jesus to him. Send people across his path who will speak Your Word with wisdom and love. Prepare his heart to hear the gospel clearly and give him opportunities to freely respond to Your grace.

In the Name of Jesus, I resist every strategy of the enemy designed to keep Rick from knowing the truth. Let the light of the glorious gospel of Jesus Christ shine into his heart. Amen.”

Now something important has changed.

Instead of merely begging God to do something He already desires—remember, God “desires all men to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth” (1 Timothy 2:4)—you are praying specifically against the spiritual opposition Scripture tells us is present and causing resistance.

And you are asking the Holy Spirit to do what only He can do: reveal Jesus, illuminate truth, convict the heart, and draw that person toward Christ.

But don’t misunderstand what happens next.

You haven’t finished the battle.

You have begun praying with greater spiritual understanding.

And this is where persistence, faith, and wisdom become extremely important—because the enemy does not willingly surrender territory without resistance.

The spiritual opposition you have resisted in prayer will not simply give up.

The enemy will continue looking for opportunities to deceive, distract, tempt, and reinforce old patterns in your loved one’s life. And until that person comes to Christ and begins growing spiritually, they may remain especially vulnerable.

That is why persistence in prayer matters.

Don’t pray once and quit. Continue standing in faith. Continue resisting the enemy in your loved one’s behalf. Continue asking God to remove deception and prepare your loved one’s heart to receive the truth.

This isn’t about begging God harder. It’s about faithfully standing in the gap for someone you love.

Pray for God to Send the Right People

Jesus gives us another important prayer strategy in Matthew 9:37–38. Looking at the multitudes who desperately needed ministry, He told His disciples:

“The harvest truly is plentiful, but the laborers are few. Therefore pray the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into His harvest.”

That’s powerful.

When you intercede for the salvation of someone you love, you become part of God’s work in the harvest. But you should also pray for other laborers to enter that person’s life.

Sometimes we’re not the person our loved one will listen to.

Don’t be offended by that.

You may have shared the gospel with your son 20 times without getting through—and then God sends someone he meets at work who says almost exactly what you’ve been saying, and suddenly he listens!

So pray for laborers.

God certainly desires your loved one to come to Him. Second Peter 3:9 makes His heart very clear:

“The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some count slackness, but is longsuffering toward us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance.”

Now combine that truth with another powerful promise in 1 John 5:14–15:

“Now this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us, whatever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we have asked of Him.”

That’s something you can plant your faith in.

God desires people to come to repentance. And when we pray according to His will, we can have confidence that He hears us.

What a powerful combination!

We can resist the spiritual forces attempting to blind our loved one, and at the same time stand confidently on the truth that God hears our prayers and desires that person to come to repentance.

Pray for the Word to Reach Their Heart

The next step is to pray for God’s Word to enter your loved one’s life.

Romans 10:17 tells us:

“So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.”

The Word of God produces faith.

So begin praying specifically that God will send someone who can communicate His Word to your loved one in a way they can hear and understand.

If they’re open to you, perhaps you can share your testimony. You may have an opportunity to explain the gospel or tell them what Jesus has done in your own life.

Maybe you can give them a gospel tract, send them a video, share a Scripture, or give them a book containing the message of salvation.

But be gentle and kind. Don’t force it.

Let the Holy Spirit lead you.

Sometimes the best thing you can do is start praying for God to send the person your loved one will listen to.

There are countless ways for the Holy Spirit to plant and water seeds in someone’s heart.

So pray something like this:

“Father, I’m asking You to send laborers across Rick’s path—people equipped with Your Word and led by Your Spirit.

Send people who can communicate effectively with Rick and whom he will respect and listen to.

Give them wisdom to say what Rick needs to hear at exactly the right moment.

Prepare Rick’s heart to receive Your Word. Let those seeds penetrate deeply and produce faith.

Whatever Rick needs to encounter the truth of Jesus Christ, Father, I ask You to provide it.

In Jesus’ Name, amen.”

Then put your faith into action.

Instead of continually praying as though God hasn’t heard you, begin thanking Him because He has.

Thank Him for working behind the scenes.

Thank Him for sending laborers.

Thank Him for opportunities your loved one will have to hear the truth.

Thank Him for every seed of God’s Word being planted.

And continue resisting the enemy’s attempts to establish new strongholds of deception, unbelief, confusion, bitterness, or fear.

Pray—and praise.

Pray in faith.

Praise God in faith.

And keep standing.

You may not immediately see what God is doing. Something may already be happening in your loved one’s heart that you know nothing about.

So don’t give up!

God’s Word Will Accomplish Its Purpose

Isaiah 55:11 gives us another tremendous promise:

“So shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth;
It shall not return to Me void,
But it shall accomplish what I please,
And it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it.”

That’s why we keep praying.

That’s why we keep believing.

That’s why we keep planting God’s Word.

And that’s why we refuse to surrender someone we love to hopelessness.

You cannot make the decision to receive Jesus for another person. But you can pray. You can intercede. You can resist the enemy. You can plant God’s Word. You can ask God to send laborers. And you can stand in faith while the Holy Spirit works.

Let’s not underestimate what God can do through the persistent prayers of a believer who refuses to give up.

A Prayer to Help You Begin

To help you put these principles into practice, we’ve made a FREE DOWNLOAD “How to Pray for Your Loved One” available at DaleBlack.org. Scroll down to the Free Downloads. It also includes Scriptures you can use to strengthen your faith as you pray.

Use it as a starting point, then allow the Holy Spirit to guide you as you intercede for the people God has placed on your heart.

Make a commitment to stand in the gap for your unsaved loved ones.

Pray according to God’s Word.

Pray with spiritual understanding.

Pray in faith.

And don’t give up.

Your prayers cannot make another person’s decision for them—but they will become a powerful part of the breakthrough in the spiritual battle surrounding that decision.

Someone’s eternity may be affected by the fact that you cared enough to keep praying with faith and authority.

And one day, they may thank you for refusing to give up on them.

Remember—Jesus is coming again.

And people… He’s coming soon!